


Dead and Loving It

by Netgirl_y2k



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-02
Updated: 2010-03-02
Packaged: 2017-10-07 16:03:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/66742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Netgirl_y2k/pseuds/Netgirl_y2k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A very silly story in which Merlin and Morgana get turned into vampires.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead and Loving It

It's not that Merlin doesn't feel guilty about killing Morgana; it's just that what with his long lost father, the dragon's temper tantrum and bits of the castle falling down about their ears, he hasn't really thought about her.

That's why he's rather surprised when he wakes up to find Morgana standing, backlit by moonlight, by the window in his tiny excuse for a bedroom.

That and the dead thing, obviously.

He tries to think of something to say, “Sorry,” doesn't quite seem like it'll cut it. 

Morgana smiles at him. “Er, your teeth are very pointy,” Merlin says.

Morgana crosses Merlin's bedroom in one elegant step – it really is very small – crawls over his bed and bites his neck.

No. She really does bite him.

*

Merlin licks his lips and looks down at the horse's exsanguinated corpse. “That was Arthur's horse. That was Arthur's favourite horse.”

Morgana tilts her head and says, “That's not really the reaction I was expecting.”

*

“Let me see if I understand,” says Merlin, a selection of livestock later. “In order to save your life, Morgause had you turned into a soulless bloodsucking creature, with an allergy to sunlight--”

“I'm also not wild about garlic.”

“And you returned to Camelot and turned me into one of these things, why exactly?”

“Hem-lock,” Morgana sing-songs, death has not improved her singing.

“Lets not talk about that.”

“Yes. And while we're not talking about it, don't you know any painless ways to kill someone? Hemlock poisoning hurts like hell.”

“So does having all your blood sucked out your jugular vein,” Merlin sulks.

*

“Morgana, my dearest ward, you have returned to me,” says Uther, sweeping Morgana into a hug.

From across the throne room Merlin can see Morgana speculatively eyeing up the King's neck. He makes frantic “don't do it” gestures at her. Okay, he's a soulless monster now, but he's still got a destiny and he's fairly sure Arthur will be upset if his father actually gets eaten in front of him.

With a last longing look at Uther's throat, Morgana pulls away. “Yes, and I've had a terribly trying journey. So if you don't mind, my lord, I shall retire to my chambers and board up all the windows before sunrise.”

Luckily, Uther's so delighted by her return that he doesn't notice anything peculiar about this.

*

Arthur yawns as Merlin helps him into his jacket. “Are you sure this is the time I usually get up?”

“Yes, Arthur.”

“It's still dark outside.”

“That's winter for you, sire,” says Merlin. He wonders what he's going to tell Arthur once spring rolls around, he wonders if the prince will believe a that a solar eclipse can last for six months?

“One of my dogs has gone missing,” says Arthur.

“Oh.”

“That's the third one this week.”

“Hmm,” says Merlin, surreptitiously trying to pick a clump of brown fur from between his teeth.

Arthur yawns again and Merlin leaves him, he's only got an hour to run around the castle completing all of his duties and get up to Morgana's chambers are before the sun rises.

*

Merlin bursts into Morgana's rooms with five minutes to spare, he's already got his jacket off and his shirt half over his head. 

“I can't keep eating Arthur's dogs!” he announces.

It's only then that he notices Gwen arranging flowers on Morgana's table. Optimistic of her, really, seeing as Morgana has ordered every window in the place boarded up so as not to let a single ray of sunlight in.

“Feeding Arthur's dogs!” he pulls his shirt back down. “I mean I can't keep feeding Arthur's dogs, they don't like me and they slobber all over my shoes.”

Gwen looks oddly at him before departing. From where she's sitting in bed, Morgana looks wistfully after her, “Would Gwen like being a vampire, do you think?”

“Morgana! Matter at hand!” Merlin hops on one foot to take his boot off.

“Oh, yes. Well, there is another option.”

“No, absolutely not. We are not eating Camelot's servants,” he gets his other boot off.

“I wasn't suggesting that, but there are some noblewomen here that I really don't like.”

Merlin doesn't dignify that with a response as he crawls into Morgana's bed and pulls the drapes closed. They curl up together to await sundown.

*

Merlin's sleeve is on fire. He has to snatch a pitcher of water from a passing servant to put it out. “Oh, very funny,” he says to Morgana.

All the windows in the tower where Morgana resides are boarded up, but there's only so far even Uther is willing to indulge Morgana's eccentricities. So when Merlin and Morgana are summoned to an audience with the King they have to dodge the light coming in through the corridor windows.

Merlin's beginning to suspect that Morgana has not quite forgiven him for the attempted murder incident because she keeps trying to trip him into patches of sunlight.

*

They reach the throne room with only minor singeing. In deference to Morgana's traumatic ordeal at the hands of the sorceress Morgause, and also the fact that for some reason he now finds her slightly unnerving, Uther has had heavy black drapes hung over all the windows.

This is good because Merlin suspects that spontaneously bursting into flames in front of the King is probably cause for beheading.

“Now,” Uther says, “I've summoned you here to put a stop to this inappropriate dallying, a mere manservant spending his days in the bed of the royal ward is--” Morgana smiles. Merlin smiles. The entire court takes a nervous step back. “--Simply lovely,” Uther finishes. “Shouldn't you two be getting back to bed?”


End file.
